People who dont know me say "Youre very quiet"
People who do know me say "Man I wish she was"
You never know how creative your thought process is until you sit on a wet toilet trying to convince yourself that it is something other than pee
I always have the right answer.
You just sometimes ask the wrong questions
doesanybodyknowwhatthelongbaratthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?
Can you buy those hotel "Do not Disturb" signs? I wanna wear one as a necklace
Friend: I wish I could help you out
Good Friend: Id bail you out
Best Friend: Lets hide in the bushes while the cops search!!!
I believe in love at first sight...
I experience it everytime I go shopping
Am I in a mental institution?.....Oh No....Its just my house
Kids..you spend the first 2 years encouraging them to walk and talk, the next 16 you spend trying to get them to sit down and shut up
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