Random Jokes #21

"Im sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing.... unless you're at a funeral


Girls, there is a fine line between wearing makeup and looking like you just dived in a box of crayons


Instead of "lol" i put "lsimhbiwfefmtalol"
Laughing Silently In My Head Because It wasnt Funny Enough For Me To Actually Laugh Out Loud


Without it, gravity is gravy


I just got kicked out of my local laser tag and the police were called. Apparently knifing somebody to save ammo is not allowed


Who else sits there and lets the phone ring instead of rejecting the call because they dont want the person to know they are ignoring them?


I know you want me to go down on you...
But i wont
    -gas prices

Now and then, I announce "I know you're listening" to an empty room. If im wrong, no one knows. And if im right, I just freaked out some secret organization

That awkward moment when you spell a common word correctly, but it just looks so wrong so you stare at it forever, questioning its existance