I bought a deoderant stick today. The intructions said to remove the wrapper and push up bottom. I can bearly walk but when I fart the room smells so lovely
Stalking is such a strong word....I prefer the term "surveillance expert"
I have a button on my microwave that says "stop time". I assume it means the timer but I dont touch it, just in case
I had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up. I disagreed. Now the clock is broken and Im awake. Not sure who won...
Why is it when you tell someone there are 400 stars in the sky, theyll believe you. But when you tell them the bench is wet, they still have to touch it?
If you try to fail and succeed, which one have you done?
Think POSITIVE
I fell down the stairs
What did I say...
DANG I GOT DOWN THOSE STAIRS FAST!!
Im going to get a bumper sticker that says "honk if you think Im a good driver" that way when I cut people off the wont know what to do
When I see you, I smile. When you talk, Im speechless. When you walk, I stare. Heck, what can I say, retards amuse me =]
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