Random Jokes #18

They don't say "I do" at a nerd wedding, but "I accept the terms and conditions"

Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the bathroom?
Teacher: ....

Sibling Property Rules:
1. If I like it, Its mine
2. If I'm holding it, its mine
3. If I can take it from you, its mine
4. If I had it a while ago, its mine
5. If I'm tearing it up all pieces are mine
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine
8. If I saw it first, its mine
9. If you are playing with it and you put it down, it becomes mine,
10. If its broke, its yours

I remember my first crime...
Grand Theft Tricycle
I did 3 days in the crib for that one...

Predicament + Pickle = Predicamikle
You're all welcome