Random Jokes #20

I love coco puffs, but i hate popo cuffs...

People please, there is a fine line between getting a real tan, and looking like you just rolled around in doritos

So I was at the park the other day, thinking to myself 'why is that frisbee getting bigger?'
... Then it hit me

'OMGz hav!n such a gewd tiem wif mai bestiez, lolzzz!!'
.... SERIOUSLY? TAKE YOUR KEYBOARD AND SMASH YOUR FACE WITH IT

My brother said onions are the only food that can make you cry...
That was before I hit him in the face with a pumpkin

FB status: like this if you like to like things you like :)

Is it just me, or does every great idea start with the word 'Duuuuuuuude!!'

I hate when people steal quotes from movies. It makes me angry, and you wouldnt like me when Im angry

I lost hope for America
when I picked up an American Flag that said
'Made in China'

Im paying almost 5 dollars a gallon at the pump while nascar drivers do 642 laps in a freakin circle just wasting it...

I finished a jigsaw puzzle in 7 months when the box said 4 to 7 years....
TAKE THAT JIGSAW PUZZLE MANUFACTURERS

I Can't Wait For This...

Random Jokes #19

FB Status:
Welcome to me wall... Today's specials are:
Lack of sleep, up too early, and low on patience. Thank You. Come again...

Call my girlfriend... call my girlfrien... call oy girly... call of gurty... Call of Duty.

Itd be pretty messed up if the cure for cancer was in the end slices of bread...

Note ot self: I need to stop talking to myself

If there is no oxygen in space, then why is the sun on fire???

That moment when you start to play guitar hero, and then your nose starts to itch like crazy!!

That awkard moment when there is no punchline

Random Jokes #18

They don't say "I do" at a nerd wedding, but "I accept the terms and conditions"

Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the bathroom?
Teacher: ....

Sibling Property Rules:
1. If I like it, Its mine
2. If I'm holding it, its mine
3. If I can take it from you, its mine
4. If I had it a while ago, its mine
5. If I'm tearing it up all pieces are mine
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine
8. If I saw it first, its mine
9. If you are playing with it and you put it down, it becomes mine,
10. If its broke, its yours

I remember my first crime...
Grand Theft Tricycle
I did 3 days in the crib for that one...

Predicament + Pickle = Predicamikle
You're all welcome

ABC & About Me

ABC...

A- Available? Not any more :)
B- Birthday? May 9, 1997
C- Crushin on? Victor Ramos ;)
D- Drink you last had? French Vinilla Coffee, YUMMY!!
E- Easies person to talk to? dad, mom, victor, kay, taylor, tanner, kaitlyn...everybody :)
F- Favorite song? Runaway Baby- Bruno Mars
G- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms? both
H- Hometown? Little Rock, AR
I- In love with? My bf...
J- ???
K- Killed someone? On Halo...Yes ;)
L- Longest car ride? Jacksonville to Orlando
M- Milkshake Flavor? Vinilla and Chocolate
N- Number of siblings? 2
O- One wish? ACTING CAREER!!
P- Person you last called? Taylor Kennedy
Q- ???
R- Reason to smile? Friends and Family
S- Song you last sang? Tik Tok- Ke$ha
T- Time you woke up? About 10
U- Underwear color? Stripes...
V- Vegatable? corn
W- Worst Habbit? facebook :)
X- X-Rays you had? when i sprained my elbow last year
Y- You ever sang in pubic? not on purpose, i sometime get caught up in the moment around friends :)
Z- Zodiac Sign? Taurus

About Me:

-Spell your name without any vowels: Tylr Lnn Hldrth
-What color do you wear most? purple
-Least Favorite Color? pink
-What are you listening to? Hot N Cold-Katy Perry
-Are you happy with you life right now? NEVER BETTER!!
-Who is your bestfriend? Lots of ppl..
-Are you outgoing? 80% of the time ;)
-Favorite pair of shoes? CONVERSE FTW!!
-Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? tried it a couple times, did it once -but took me like 5 minutes :)
-Can you whistle? yes
-Cross your eyes? yes
-Walk with you toes crossed? yes, but i got a cramp :(
-Do you belive ther is life on other planets? ALIENS!!
-Believe in miracles? sorta
-Believe in magic? kinda
-Love at first sight? no
-Do you believe in satan? no and i dont want to
-Do you believe in santa? no
-Do you know how to swim? yes
-Do you like rollercosters? YESSSS
-Ever been on a plane? nope
-Ever asked someone out? didnt have to... ;)
-Have you ever been asked out by someone? yes :)
-Have you ever been to the ocean? yep
-What is the temperature outside? hot...duh...this is FLORIDA!!
-What radio station do you listen to? 95.1 FTW!!
-Last thing you bought? 2 bags of chips at skool
-What was the last thing on TV you watched? Max and Ruby
-Who was the last person you took a picture of? Kyler Hildreth :) :D
-Who was the last person you said I Love You to? DADDY!! <3

Crying Section!!

-Ever really cried you heart out? Yes :(
-Cried your self to sleep? Few times
-Do certain songs make you cry? they used to...
-Ever cried on your friends shoulder? yep
-Do you cry when you get an injury? doesnt everyone?
-Are you a happy person? Mostly

Currently Wearing!!

-What shirt are you wearing? grey animal print with red tanktop underneath
-Necklaces? nope
-Bracelets? a charm bracelet i got for my last birthday
-Favorite eye color? brown
-Height? 5'3

Have You Ever!!

-Been to jail? WHO TOLD YOU!?!?
-Mooned someone? NOOO
-Laughed so hard you cried? SOOOO many times
-Cried in school? yes
-Wanted to be a model? kinda, and still do :)
-Done something stupid and laughed at it? everyday.... XD
-Been on drugs? SHHH! ;) haha nope
-Gone skinny dipping? NO

This or That?!

-Pepsi or Coke? CREAM SODA!!
-Single or Group dates? idk
-Chocolate or Vinilla? both
-Strawberries or Blueberries? strawberries
-Name a ramdom thing about yourself... Ive wanted to be an actress since i was 7
-Meat or Veggies? MEAT!!!
-TV or Movie? Movie
-Guitar or Drums? Drums
-Adidas or Nike? Converse!!
-Chinese or Mexican? Mexican
-Cherios or Corn Flakes? Lucky Charms
-Current Hair Color? Brown

10 Confessions

1. I like country music but not Taylor Swift
2. I get the hic-ups like three times a week
3. I dont like bunk-beds
4. Calling me a b*tch doesnt hurt my feelings
5. I have 6 Career choices on my mind(all of which are REALLY BIG)
6. Ive never left the house without eyeliner in over a year(15 months...)
7. I get on facebook at LEAST twice a day
8. I have 86 things on my bedroom walls
9. I never read at home unless Im dying of boredom
10. I daydream ALOT in school and yet I make A's and B's

Friends & Family

More than anything, they mean the world to me

I just wish they would visit more

And wont leave my heart in debris

Friends and Family

We're always laughing and telling jokes

Having fun together all the time

And thats no hoax

Friends and Family

Everybodys always nice and in a good mood

We love playing together

Nah, their never rude

Friends and Family

I LOVE YOU!!!

I Drew More... :D

Random Jokes #17

I read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince yesterday in 2 hours, I know its only 7 words but Im really proud of myself :D

What do I do when I see someone EXTREAMLY GORGOUS!! I stare, and smile, and when I get tired... I put the mirror down ;)

We're friends... You smile, I smile, You laugh, I laugh, You jump off a cliff, I find a new friend!!

Ive been thinking, nobody has any common sense anymore, its gotten so rare lately it should be classified as a super power...

Can blind people see in their dreams?

Have you ever looked at you best friend and wondered 'Why the heck are we not comedians?!'

One time I found myself drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea

Random Jokes #16

I am doing housework! I just cleaned the ON button on my computer by wiping it with my finger! OOOOOooohhh look...Facebook, how 'bout that?

I think I agree with my friends, I change my mind too often. Actually, they're wrong

I hate being bipolar, Its freaking awesome!!

2013... A time when the movie '2012' gets moved from the action section in stores, to comedy...

My favorite text message: 'Ill be there in 5 minutes. If not, the read this again'

Id like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing bee hive and thought... those things are hiding something delicious I know it!

Does anybody else wake up in the middle of the night crazy thirsty, and water tastes like it came from God's personal garden river?

Random Jokes #15

I just broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived!!!

I have a condition similar to OCD, its called CDO, its the exact same thing its just the letters are in alphabetical order... as they should be...

That 'No drinks beyond this point' sign might as well say 'I bet you cant chug the whole thing'

Ahh, Facebook mobile.... or as I like to call it 'walk n stalk'

Say these words: Pear... Macaronii... Jack...
Now say them really fast.. out loud
Get it?
No?
Yeah you just said these words out loud for nothing :)

That awkward moment when you realize that if Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner get married, they would both be Taylor Lautner...

Today a guy knocked on my door asking for a donation for my local elementary schools new pool; so I went away, came back, and handed him a cup of water

Dont you just hate when you dont pass on one of those chain mail things and you die the next day?.. yea me too

Random Jokes #14

When I play fighting games.. I press random buttons and hope for the best

When people ask me 'Plz' Just because its shorter than 'please' I feel perfectly justified to answer 'No' because its shorter than 'Yes'

Deja Moo: The feeling that youve heard this bull before

If youre always organizing things, you have OCD...
If youre always eating things, you have OBCD

I hate weddings because old people always poke you and say, 'Youre next'...
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals :p

Im gonna take a super nap, its like a regular nap, only I get to wear a cape

Im that kind of person who can trip over something 100 times, and will still be too lazy to pick it up

Zaxbys took a Subway to White Castle, where Burger King and Dairy Queen live, one night they Steak and Shaked, then 9 months later they had Wendys

9 planets, 1 universe, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas and I had the unfortunate luck to meet YOU!?

Random Jokes #13

Here I made you a waffle
(>'_')># <(^_^<)
Just kidding my waffle
#<(^_^<) <(-_-<)
DUDE I want my freakin waffle!!
(>0_0)># ==:;(-_-<)

One day Chuck Norris decided to eat at a restraunt and when he was done the waitress said "Have a nice day"
...The next day the waitress was found dead... no one tells Chuck Norris what to do

Which individual takes residence within thy sub aquatic fruit?
SPONGE ROBERT RECTANGULAR PRISM PANTALOONS

Kids are so HYPER these days, I wouldnt be patient enough to be a kindergarden teacher... we'd have to play games like DUCT, DUCT, TAPE

I love using words to sound smart... I mean... utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intellegence

I dont care HOW old I am...... Im getting in that bouncy castle!!

They say love is more important than money, have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

A midget walks into a library and asks, "Have you got a book on Irony?"
The librarian says, "Yea, its on the top shelf."

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they dont make sense.
Refrigerator.

Happy Valentines Day...

...Or better known as "Singles Awareness Day" :) Either way I had fun at school cuz I got sooo much candy and yet I didnt get crap for nobody else and they didnt complain :) I guess Im off the hook :) Plus I had coffee this morning and was literally screaming in peoples faces "HAPPY SINGLES AWARENESS DAY!!!!"
I could tell I looked retarded, but I was too hyper to care :D

Happy Valentines Day!!! XOXO

Random Jokes #12

I bought a deoderant stick today. The intructions said to remove the wrapper and push up bottom. I can bearly walk but when I fart the room smells so lovely

Stalking is such a strong word....I prefer the term "surveillance expert"

I have a button on my microwave that says "stop time". I assume it means the timer but I dont touch it, just in case

I had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up. I disagreed. Now the clock is broken and Im awake. Not sure who won...

Why is it when you tell someone there are 400 stars in the sky, theyll believe you. But when you tell them the bench is wet, they still have to touch it?

If you try to fail and succeed, which one have you done?

Think POSITIVE
I fell down the stairs
What did I say...
DANG I GOT DOWN THOSE STAIRS FAST!!

Im going to get a bumper sticker that says "honk if you think Im a good driver" that way when I cut people off the wont know what to do

When I see you, I smile. When you talk, Im speechless. When you walk, I stare. Heck, what can I say, retards amuse me =]